One year ago today…..

…I gave birth to Zachary, at 7:31 PM. He weighed 6 lbs, 2oz, and was 19.25 inches long. And he was perfect. As soon as he was born, I noticed how little he was! He definitely was the runt of the litter, but was such a good baby (and still is). We noticed right away that he was a boob man, and took to nursing like a champ. Even today, on his first birthday, he refuses to take a bottle from momma. It’s all good. Tomorrow is his check up at the doctor, so I’ll put up his one year stats then.

His first year with us has been more eventful than any other year in my life. We all survived the transition of me being a working mother to a SAHM (that transition involving two-ish weeks of me working overnights. Cruel and unusual punishment for the mother of a newborn), Josh being gone for a week on a business trip (which prepared me for being alone with all three kids during our latest transition), meningitis and polymicrogyria and all that goes with that (which has prepared me to deal with anything that will come my way), and preparation for a big move across state lines. Wow.

I spent a lot of this year worrying. No matter how many times I would say to myself that he was okay, and would be okay no matter what, I still worried about him. I didn’t worry too much about his condition (okay, that was a bold face lie), but I spent a lot of time worrying if I would be a good enough mother for him. I still worry about it, but I also know that he is in a great family. I worry about his future, not about what he’ll be like, but about how people will treat him. I worry about him getting made fun of, or being taken advantage of, or getting hurt. I worry about this with all of my kids, but it’s different with Zach. I’m getting better at not letting it consume me.

Back to the happy stuff. If you ignore the whole meningitis thing, he has been very healthy this year. We reached my goal of breastfeeding him for one year, and that will continue since he hates milk. That’s okay, I want to build that brain nice and strong for a long time. Save your opinions on extended breastfeeding if they conflict with mine. He was such a good baby this year too. He doesn’t cry much, which confounds some people, but he didn’t need to. He was fed on demand, held when he needed it, loved all the time, slept with or near mom and dad. He soothes himself to sleep well most nights, and sleeps well as long as mommy is close by. It has been a wonderful year!

To make today even better, something has changed about him. He’s always making leaps, big and small, in his development. Suddenly he’s doing everything he’s already been doing, but better. He’s tracking toys while sitting up assisted. He’s holding his head up better. He’s moving towards things with intention. He’s trying to pick up toys. He’s playing with toys. And more. This is everything this momma needs! His big first birthday has been different than any other, because his life has been so different. He is still very much a baby, no where near walking or talking, but he is “doing”, and that makes us so happy! He is marching to the beat of his own drum, and flying high. I am so happy to be the momma to this wonderful little guy. Zach, Happy First Birthday! Mommy loves you!

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