It’s been a while since I posted a vegetarian update. After my strong start, I fell of the wagon a few times. Am I ashamed? I was, but now I’m over it. The past week and a half was filled with times of high stress. I can’t even remember all of it, but if I reflect on the times I gave in and ate meat, I can narrow it down to two reasons: 1) lack of planning a head of time and 2) pity eating during stress.
We made a few trips to neighboring towns over meal times. I could have waited until we got home to eat, or fill up on some meatless options until I could get home to cook. Instead, I caved out of shear laziness. I rationalized it by thinking it was just one time, I needed to eat, blah blah blah. Later that evening, I thought about the need to plan ahead, and I’m not sure how to do it. We hit a fast food place, and the vegetarian options were lacking. I wasn’t going to get the lettuce, tomato, and whatever on a bun and call it good. If my choice is between anemic lettuce and tomato on a bun or a burger, I’m going for the burger. No real redeeming value in either, so I might as well get some protein. Some of our excursions were last minute, and now I know I can take some time to throw some carrot sticks or fruit in a bag with some cheese to tide me over. Or we need to eat ahead of time, and instead of making these impromptu mealtimes mindless activities, we need to think about the outcome of each meal. Do we want the kids hopped up on sugar and food additives? No.
So back to the stress eating…the kids (and I’m including Josh in that) have taken turns being sick for the past few weeks. Zach has been cutting the same tooth for weeks, and has decided that on random nights, mommy doesn’t need any sleep. Add to that homesickness, the stress of hating the house we are in, dealing with kids still adjusting to the move, and anything else thrown my way, I had some pity food. I wanted a burger. I told myself I deserved it. It was comfort, but it didn’t last. The stress was still there, and I believe I would have felt better if I had taken better care of myself during the stressful times. I would have been a better mom, a better wife, and better to myself. I’m not saying that eating meat is unhealthy, but the food choices I was making weren’t in my best interest.
So, do I beat myself up for not following through? No. Do I take these slip ups in vain? No, I’m going to do something about them. I took each of them (and should have written them down at the time) and determined why I did it, what it meant, and what I could do in the same situation. And now I’m back on the wagon, back in the saddle, and back to my feel good journey. Woo.