So, I’ve abandoned my blog for a while. I’m forcing myself back into writing again. I’ve had too many thoughts lately and cannot organize them (at least that was my excuse). I think the ice jam in my brain is finally melting, so here I go again.

Last year for Lent, I made it my goal to give up meat. I started out strong, had some setbacks, and then got shingles. This was one of a few episodes of last year that had me believe I was being told that I wasn’t on the right path. Not to give up meat for Lent, but where we were in our lives. One year later, we are back in Nebraska, happier than before, and Lent is once again upon us.

This year, I’m again going to put myself through a difficult (although very superficial) sacrifice. For me, it’s a big deal and is going to be difficult. Not as difficult as going without electricity, or my car, or shoes. I am giving up my beloved Coca Cola (and all pop) starting tomorrow until Easter (and beyond if this goes well). I am addicted. I have convinced myself I need it to get through the day. I don’t, but when I start to get the screaming headache from caffeine deprivation, I think I need it. So I have some, and then all is better. Until I weight myself, and see how those 17 pounds I had to lose after Zach was born has turned into 30. Not all of that is from Coke, but it is a big part of an unhealthy life I have created for myself.

Coke was my medicine when Zach was sick. I told myself I earned it, I deserved it, and no one had better try to tell me that it wasn’t good for me, or I didn’t need it, and all that. I drank it because I felt sorry for myself. Along with that came the junk food. It too was something I “deserved” for what I had gone through. Well, Zach is thriving, and and I don’t feel sorry for myself anymore, so my self indulgences need to go away. And I’m starting it with giving up Coke. Josh is giving up pop along with me, because we are both tired of feeling like crap. We’ve known for years that his stomach problems are less of an issue when he isn’t drinking pop. And he too has gained weight he isn’t happy with. So we’re doing this together (NOTE–I blame him. He’s making me do this. SAVE ME!!)

He’s out getting our last hurrah before we start fresh tomorrow. I must remind myself that if I have a setback not to let it ruin the whole goal, but to get back on the horse. Mleh. I’ll be drinking an inordinate amount of green tea through this whole deal. And water. So that’s me telling you I’ll be peeing like a racehorse for the next several weeks.

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